All I want for Christmas
by dorina16able
Summary: Everything is warm and fuzzy at Christmas and not even Jean Kirstein can escape. During a Christmas party, he and Sasha make each other see that they deserve happiness too. Modern AU


**A/N: *sings at full volume* I wish you a merry Christmas, I wish you a merry Christmas, I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year! How you doing, my lovelies, Merry Christmas to you all, with health, love and happiness! Well, dearies, as a typical shipper and fangirl, I couldn't leave my beautiful OTP out of the Christmas atmosphere, so here you go, a warm and fuzzy one-shot featuring our pair of adorable dorks ;)**

 **The title is taken from Mariah Carey's all-time Christmas classic "All I want for Christmas" and praise the _Love Actually_ movie for introducing me to this song (any _Love Actually_ fans here? Please raise your hand)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Attack on Titan characters in any way**

* * *

The persistent ringing of the doorbell that reaches Jean's ears in his bedroom makes the seventeen-year-old teenager groan in frustration and bury his head in his pillow. He knows exactly who has come to bother him tonight and he braces himself for the explosion, because it seems that his friends don't understand the meaning of "I don't want to go to Eren's stupid Christmas party, guys!" Nope, apparently the lot of them is determined to drag him there if they have to.

God, what sins is he paying for again?

"Mom, don't open that door if you wanna spend a quiet Christmas night!" he shouts through his closed door, but it seems that even his own mother is against him, judging from her giggles and her steps as she goes to greet the visitors. "Oh, God, the universe really hates me," he growls and takes out his nerves on his poor pillow again, this time by punching it as hard as he can.

Mrs. Kirstein, on the other hand, who is highly amused by her son's rambling and knows that Jean doesn't actually mean it, goes to open the door with a smile that only gets wider when she sees who has come to pay them a visit on this beautiful and joyous night.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. K.!" Connie is the first who greets her, throwing his hands in the air like a maniac; the middle-aged woman returns his wish and playfully runs a hand through the boy's buzz cut.

"How are you, Mrs. Kirstein, I hope we're not disturbing you and Jean." Marco is the next, overly polite as always, evoking laughter from her; after all, she's known the boy since he was a freckled baby in his mother's arms.

"Oh my, is that fresh-baked chocolate cookies I smell? Are you a goddess, Mrs. Kirstein? You're a goddess, aren't you?!" Sasha wraps Jean's mom in a tight embrace, giggling and with her eyes shining as if a miracle is taking place in front of her.

"Excellent senses, Sasha, you three feel free to go and have some while Jean is pretending to sulk in his room because he hates Christmas," the woman chuckles as she releases Sasha from the hug and caresses the bubbly girl's cheek; Connie immediately rushes in the kitchen and Marco tries to back up his best friend.

"Of course I hate Christmas, it's entirely stupid, with all the snow and the presents and the endless parties and the whole fuzzy atmosphere, I wanna throw up!" Jean's voice echoing from his room proves to everyone present that he's able to participate in a conversation even when he wants to hide from the whole world.

"Come on, man, it's not so bad, we're gonna have a great time at Eren's, everyone will be there and you know they all want you there too." Marco tries to convince him, although the way he suppresses his laughter shows that he knows too well that Jean's sulking is nothing more than a pretense.

"Yeah, 'everyone', including Mikasa's cousin, you guys know I can't stand Levi!"

"And since when do you make decisions based on who will be there or what people will say about you, hmmmm?" Sasha speaks muffled because of the cookie she's devouring, but everyone understands what she's saying; Mrs. Kirstein winks at her, Connie leaves a triumphant "HA!" and even the goodhearted Marco pats her shoulder approvingly.

"Shut up, Potato Girl, don't talk as if you know me!"

"I _do_ know you, we've been friends since we were eleven and _stop calling me names_!"

"Or what, you're gonna eat all our potatoes? Thanks for proving my point!"

"Jean, be nice to your friends and come out of your room to talk with us like the decent young man you are!" his mother scolds him with a sweet voice as everyone ignores Connie's comment that the words 'Jean' and 'decent' don't belong in the same sentence.

"First these three clowns will leave our house and then I'll come out of my room."

"Well, too bad, we're not leaving without you even if it takes us hours." Marco makes clear, still with that amused smile on his face, and teasingly shakes his head; is his buddy seriously thinking that he can fool him when they've spend the last seventeen years as best friends?

"Oh, Marco just gave me a wonderful idea." Mrs. Kirstein smirks and winks at the three visitors, making them exchange perplexed looks and wonder what exactly she's planning. "Since your best friends want to keep you company, how about we all stay here and have a quiet Christmas night eating cookies, drinking your infamous hot chocolate and watching _Love Actually_?"

"Holy…Mrs. K., you're a genius!" Connie snickers and rubs his heads together, knowing that Jean would do anything in his power to avoid this particular movie, which he totally hates because of the aforementioned 'fuzzy atmosphere'. Including going to Eren's party, tolerating Levi and even having fun.

"I may love this movie, but I can pass if it means that Jean will come out of his shell." Sasha agrees and Marco nods.

There's no answer coming from Jean's room for a few moments—no _verbal_ answer at least, but the shuffling and the string of curses that follow are enough clues for the four people to look at each other happily and triumphantly, knowing that Jean is already getting ready.

"Jaeger party, here we come!"

* * *

Parties at Eren's house are always vivid, especially with Reiner, Bertholdt, Connie and the host himself creating a ruckus like the team of restless boys they are and with the two Ackerman cousins, Mikasa and Levi, arguing about the smallest things even on Christmas. While Annie is dealing with Hitch's constant gossiping and her flirting with Marlowe, Hanji, Levi's friend, is laughing at full volume and challenging Marco, Armin and Sasha to drinking games and Ymir hits on Krista non-stop.

Sasha, despite refusing to participate in drinking games since she is the driver for Marco, Jean and Connie for tonight and has to keep her alcohol at check, enjoys the crazy and warm environment that surrounds her; it keeps her mind distracted from the bitterness that her parents had to leave on an urgent business trip yesterday and aren't coming back until New Year's Eve.

 _This…This is Christmas_ , she's thinking now as she laughs at Reiner, who's gripped poor Bertholdt in a headlock and teases him about how he should ask Annie out. _Friends and family, your friends' families, snow, decorations, Christmas songs, tons of food and fun!_

"Hey, where did Jean disappear to?" Connie wants to know in a sudden. "Don't tell me he's trying to run away and go home!"

"Nah, I saw him going outside, probably for some fresh air, it's pretty hot in here with the fireplace and you guys smoking like chimneys," comes the answer from Marco, who's staring disapprovingly at said smokers—mainly Reiner, Eren, Annie, Connie and Hitch.

"Hey, it's Christmas and Christmas means loosening up and getting all crazy, don't be such a goody-two-shoes all the time, man." Eren comments and he's talking as slurred as Hanji; the guy rivals the older woman when it comes to drinking at parties.

" _Eren!_ Marco's right, it's too much." Mikasa's exaggerated protectiveness strikes again.

"Spoilsport, now you're sounding exactly like Marlowe here, I've been trying to make him loosen up for years!" Hitch pouts and leans against her crush, who simply sighs and allows her to rest her head against his shoulder.

"Well, for the first time I agree with my cousin, no wonder Kirstein went outside, he probably wants to escape from you brats _and get the hell away from me, you crazy Four-Eyes_!" Levi yells that last part, since Hanji's drunken existence is pretty much smothering him in her embrace.

"Awwwww, Levi, you break my heart!"

"Go drown your broken heart in alcohol for all I care, just let me go before I throw you out of the house and let you freeze!"

"Ah, the horseface is freezing anyway, who cares, we don't need his broodiness anyway, right, Krista?" Ymir snickers and throws an arm around the blonde's shoulder, although she backs away and gives her a death glare.

"Ymir, stop being so mean with everyone!"

"Yeah, Ymir, stop being so mean, I'll actually go and keep the poor guy some company and then join you guys again, okay?" Sasha's death glare rivals Krista's as the moment as she grabs her coat and heads outside, her heart aching at the thought of Jean sitting on his own, lost in his thoughts on this Christmas night.

"Uh-huh, yeah, just to keep him company, come on, Potato Girl, everyone knows how you always defend him."

"YMIR!"

* * *

It's freezing cold outside, but Jean isn't bothered at all, he's always liked winter, since he was a little boy. He enjoys the wind that's blowing all around, making the snowflakes dance and transferring the sound of the Christmas songs from the houses nearby. He loves Christmas in his hometown and he loves the parties with his friends and how they behave like five-year-olds at Christmastime; even if he won't admit it in order to maintain the image of the composed leader of the group everyone has about him.

"Regretting coming with us and missing _Love Actually_?"

Sasha's soft and playful voice interrupts his thoughts and he turns towards her, spontaneously smiling at the sight she makes, with her coat over her knee-length, dark blue dress, hands in the pockets to protect them from the cold and the snow already falling on her head, the white flakes making a beautiful contrast with her brunet hair.

The young girl, on the other hand, is taken aback by the way Jean's staring at her. Usually his gazes towards her are teasing or supportive, but now his eyes hold a tender look that's directed at her for the first time, as if it's the first time he's truly noticing her. She feels light shivers and a blush painting her cheeks and she almost lowers her head because she's not used to a boy looking at her that way, as if he makes her feel beautiful and special with a single, gentle gaze.

"You don't have to answer me, your smile tells me everything," she says quietly as she sits down beside him, keeping their gazes locked together. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that the emotionless-wannabe Jean Kirstein actually has a good time," she adds with a chuckle that gets louder when the boy teasingly pushes her shoulder. "You know, when we first met…I kinda saw you as a challenge."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. You were so grumpy, so…so _angry_ all the time, you always refused to hang out with us, you constantly snapped at everyone, insulting us. I have to admit, I was kinda scared back then, I wanted to be your friend but I didn't know how to get close to you."

"You wanted to be the huge jerk's friend? And you still wonder why I called you crazy back then?" Jean's amber eyes widen in surprise at the sound of these words because he knows very well what a pompous bastard he used to be. The revelation that she didn't hate him no matter how much he insulted her has caught him off guard and at the same time spreads warmth through his entire body…to think that he had someone who didn't consider him a lost case ever since they were eleven makes him feel like a happy kid that has received the best Christmas gift ever.

"Well, I _was_ crazy, apparently. But as I said, I saw it as a challenge. I promised to myself that this arrogant and brooding boy who was stupid enough to believe that I had fallen for the emotionless mask he was wearing would become my friend and that there would be a day when he would smile and joke with all of us. And I was wrong!"

"Wait, what?!" Jean exclaims and can't believe how the warmth in him is replaced by a bitter chill so quickly; now his soft gaze turns terrified because he fears what kind of meaning Sasha's words hold. "What do you mean you were wrong?"

"I was wrong to think about you as a mere challenge, as a bet I had to win to prove to everyone that you are so much more than what you used to show us! And when I started knowing you better, Jean, believe me, you have no idea how guilty I felt to ever consider you a challenge! Because you are much more than a stupid little girl's idiotic challenge, Jean! You simply are who you are, a normal teenage boy who has the right to be grumpy, to be happy, to have moments of anger or melancholy and I was too stupid to think I should change that."

"Hey, it doesn't have to mean that my changes were with bad intentions or something."

"Oh, Jean, don't you get it? This moment, right now, the friendships you've built and the way you opened up to us? These aren't changes, Jean, this is simply who you are…it's simply your true self and your true self doesn't reject all this emotionless brooding, it _includes_ all this emotionless brooding. I don't care _despite_ your flaws, your weaknesses and your fears, I care _because_ of your flaws, your weaknesses and your fears, my eleven-year-old self was just too stupid to see that."

Silence falls after Sasha stops talking and takes a deep breath, still fighting the temptation to lower her head, although she's strong enough to defeat it. She doesn't know how Jean will take her narration: a young girl's confession about the first months of their acquaintance that developed into this; into comfort, support, tenderness and, most of all, mutual trust and appreciation.

They don't know how much time they spend like that, merely looking at each other as the Christmas songs that are heard and the snow that's dancing all around create a scenery that could easily fit in one of those stories Sasha loves to write in her creative writing class. Jean's eyes are practically glowing as a loving and grateful smile adorns his face and helps her feel relaxed enough to smile back. They could easily sit here all night without talking, lost in the silence and defying their friends, the party inside, the time that's passing, as an aura different of the aura of friendship surrounds them, like something new and magical is being created.

All the sweetness and fear and despair of two teenagers' first love is blooming right now, with Sasha looking eerily beautiful with her snow-covered hair that reaches her shoulders and Jean being truly relaxed and happy. It's not the I-wanna-dance-like-crazy-due-to-happiness joy, though, it's a content joy that makes something swell in him, as if he wants to cry and laugh simultaneously.

"How…How about we go to that ice skating rink Annie told us about tomorrow?" Jean whispers in the end, when the silence thickens and the need to say something becomes apparent to both of them. "Both of us love ice skating, after all, and you deserve something you'll like for a first date."

Now it's Sasha's turn to widen her eyes and her smile turns enthusiastic, with tears of happiness burning her eyes; it's a young girl's happiness that realizes that there's a boy who has feelings for her; a boy whom she already cares about and who keeps her on her toes with his determination to achieve his goals.

At the sight of her nodding, Jean can't hold back anymore and gently cradles her face before softly brushing his lips against hers in a kiss that holds all the innocence and inexperience of two teenagers that have only just realized how infatuated they are. They don't even care that they'll be adults in a few months; right now, as Sasha calmly rests her hands against the nape of his neck and pulls away from the kiss to kiss his nose and hug him, it's like they're two children in a Christmas fairytale.

"You know, between us, it's not such a bad song after all," Jean admits as Mariah Carey's _All I want for Christmas_ echoes from Eren's house.

And Sasha can't hide her laughter because, in Jean's language, this sentence can be translated as a confession that everything right now is perfect.

* * *

 **A/N: Soooo, that was it, guys, another one-shot has come to an end, hope you liked it! Once again, Merry Christmas to you all! Lots of love :D :D  
**


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